DIARY INTAN

Thursday, January 19, 2006

ME AND MY WORLD

Hello Diary ,

I've not got time to write lately cos being with two bosses makes me a very busy secretary. I read about my life , my sweetheart Dr and my family , my office , my work and everything about me . NOW i realise that I am a very wonderful person to be with . So many people miss me when I'm not there with them.

I realise that I am a very special person in everyone's life.

I am happy . Thank you diary ... thanks for being there for me...

Monday, December 05, 2005

WHAT I'VE LEARN

Dear Diary ,

I've learn about life , about letting go a relationship. Yesterday i watch Ophra shows and one thing I learn is about " letting go" meaning you give up on the things that is holding on . Yep like my relationship with him , I learn to give up and continue with my life . I wish I could just call his wife and tell her the relationship.

I wish I could do that , anyway I am happy with my life now and my family so I guess I want to just leave him alone.

She will know someday .

Bye Diary.

Love

INTAN

Thursday, December 01, 2005

FRIENDS ARE SPECIAL .....



Dear Diary ,

I've just got back from solat with some friends , now I realise that actually those who are my real friend are the one who have a good and nice family background . Happy people. I am glad i am their friends . Tomorrow I will be meeting an old friend very old friend we know each other since standard three now we are both married and have children.

I think of him at times but I make myself busy so that it would be easier for me . Afterall I am worth more than what he has given. I have made him happy but he just let me feeling hurt.

I've leave him and our story behind ...

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Watching desperate housewife...

Dear Diary,

Yesterday I watched desperate housewife and I’ve learn something about life. I am lately kind of feeling “different” about my relationship with him. Well actually I try to understand him but I guess he kind of like take me for granted. What I mean is that he is kind of treating me like I am not special to him. Yep , he said darling blah blah blah I’ve got to will speak again later . Yes dearie , it is almost two weeks ya , we speak again later kind of thing. A very plain conversation. I don’t think I am that patient to wait for the “later”. Being with him for more than a year makes me realize things.

I guess I will not continue with the relationship again. I don’t want to feel pain, feeling miss him , feeling angry , feeling jealous …

Cos I know I am worth more than what he did… He has lost me … a very special lady … and I hope he will realize it someday.

At the end of yesterday’s episode , it is all about , how a person behave would effect them in a long long term ….

She got pregnant, he lost his love, she is still with him without being caught , She sees beauty of the world , ….. and everything is about a person….

Sad and Happy moment …..

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I GUESS HE IS OKAY NOW

Dear Diary ,

I’ve wrote to you about me and him . No stress no argument. Well I think he realize that I am not pushy so call nowadays. Maybe I’ve give up or maybe the answer that I will get is the same . He will talk and talk to me about his work , how people has used him for projects and others. A very small thing about me and him. In my mind everytime I know that it will be the same. He said he loves me but now I feel nothing. It is just a relationship you know where you stay with someone you “love”. Continue to stay like everything is so beautiful. I don’t know maybe I feel that this relationship, arguing and talking is a routine things. He said that today he sent his wife to the office. Yep. I am jealous but he doesn’t understand me. He has NEVER want to understand me because I am not “ an asset” that can make him rich.

***********************************************************************************

That was this morning , well I have think about him lately and I feel that I’ve to go . I guess I am a sensitive person , but when you call your boyfriend and he told you that he was with his wife this morning , and later they will go shopping together kind of thing. I think that is enough. Yep enough is enough. I cannot go further . I told him he is okay now with his wife so I want to leave and let go.

And I did. He said there is so many things in his mind. Okay I will not going to be a part of the “thing” now so I guess you have to sort it out yourself.

I am a bit sad but I guess enough is enough . I cannot be with a man who don’t understand me.

I CANNOT ..

Monday, November 28, 2005

HE IS TIRED

Dear Dairy ,

I was on the line with my boyfriend a few minutes ago, he said he is tired. Yep he sound so very tired i guess he is not recover from his trip. I told him that I think of him , he said he loves me and need to find a place to rest for a while. You know diary lately I am kind of don't demand. Don't want make him feeling bad about the whole thing especially the relationship . I have to understand that I am just his girlfriend nothing more . BUT deep inside I know that he loves me so much it is just that time and situation is not on our side, I am sure that if he has the time he will be with me and love me.

I am okay with our relationship now. I want to have a quality time with him , no more tears , no more arguing , no more feeling "sakit hati".

Bye diary , will write again later.

Friday, November 25, 2005

HE IS IN TAIWAN

Today , I was a bit busy this morning cos we had majlis hari raya. I've order something nice for everyone ( boss gave me RM 100. 00) for the food.

I am thinking of him now.He is away in Taiwan on a business trip. I know he is not flirting around cos he is the person who is very reserved and he tells me everything about his work , life and others. At times I do think that he can cheat his wife why not me. But I don't want to think about it so much well if he does someday I will know.

I don't know why but lately me and my family we seldom go out for fun maybe next week, I am going to take my children to ikea for them to play and play. Without him i guess.

It is alright for me to bring the children and have fun. So boring staying in the house .Next week I am going to Ikea.

I am sure